something out of the ordinary

I was mentioning to a friend of mine the other night that I feel like I'm a little girl again. Part of it has a lot to do with the fact that post-surgery has left me fairly incapable of doing even simple tasks for myself, but the other half too, is that I just feel like things are happening and I'm young all over again.

Anyway, I'm currently a tiny little ball of pretty bad insecurity which I didn't even go through when I was younger so maybe its just catching up to me now. I had a whole blog planned out and then I talked on the phone for awhile with another friend and, sort of, about what I was intending to talk about.

I don't really think that talking about it will make it better. I don't really know why I feel like I'm not good enough. (Well relationship wise I do and I guess, in a way, that's one of the ones that's kicking me right now.) But I never ever talk about these things and maybe they've just gotten to the point where they've built up far too much.

I always seem to be on one end of this situation. I just wish it never happened.

why i don't play sports

So I don't play sports. I used to play soccer as a kid, I ran a bit, and then I realized I was bad at them and stopped playing.

But on Saturday I decided that I would have fun and play soccer and I was doing really well too.

So its Monday and I have my foot fractured in two places.

Life needs to stop handing me the entirely crazy unexpected things.

my cat is accidentally high on bleach

I cleaned the kitchen and the smell of the bleach has made my cat high and hyper. Truth is, I'd rather him be this way than being lethargic. However, I would rather him not play with the curtains and try to pull them down.

Its cute, but its also annoying.

I'm getting baptized on Sunday. Its a huge thing for me and I'm glad I'm doing it. I need to write out what I'm going to say up there and from there I should be good. A lot of people have asked me why now and realistically, it was because of a fortune cookie. It simply said "It is better to go with someone than to go it alone" and I was like "yeah ok." But truthfully, part of it is that my life is so crazy and all over the place right now and for the first time ever I want to be able to do something totally by faith instead of being scared all the time.

I'm being more social, Internet. I'm working on being less shy and its pretty awesome. I volunteered as a leader to help with the Junior High youth group. We went bowling and those kids are pretty cool.

Also, in a strange twist of fate, I'm going to decline a job interview for a company I really wanted to work for because I don't want to move again. I suppose I just decided I wanted to stay here.

the punchline is that i'm the butt of every joke

I always said I'd never end up in Fort McMurray.

When I ended up in Fort McMurray I said I'd never find a job in my field.

When I found a job in my field I said I would just do that and I wouldn't get into any relationships while I was here. Nothing to tye me down as it were.

I talked to the pastor's wife about a lot of things last night.

I hope God is having a grand time laughing at me. I'm glad I'm amusing.